i don’t want to limp away from this one

salvo
by Matt Freire

passing time becomes an art form
smiling through is a right of passage
and here
as i sit
i masticate like a ranging cow
not caring how or what
just filling my bowels
and i recognize the flavor
the tasty powder fragrance is impotent in behavior
and so i labor on the distasteful
dust covered food
the condiment i'm used to
even in my drinks
good thing i'm a fan of heavy pulp

the barrage of flies at times is wild
horror stories
i'll save for an indecisive child
you know it's hot when you don't care if flies crawl on your face
little fly feces and vomit litter my face
you know you're thirsty when you chug hot bottles of water to hydrate
scolding coffee-hot water
when you loose some taste buds
but think life is now great
because now the color of your piss doesn't look like tang

you know you're tired when you start seeing shit
like you're dropped in a country where people want to kill you
and lop off your head
and an air raid siren starts to blare
and explosions rattle your bones
and you realize you're there
in a war zone unaware of danger
not thinking of self
accepting fate
and a smile cracks and splits my chapped lips
because i've been waiting for this
i want it
i want the pain i want the anguish
i want the luster i want the experience
i constantly wish the excitement would start
no matter where i go or what i do
i have visions
dark war filled ideations
the UH-60 is down
and i'm down to my last round
in the chamber peace can sprout
in the chamber new lives can route greater passageways
and i want to be at ground zero for this day
see these moldings come to life
see these barren trees crumble to dust
see these seedlings brought to life
i want picture in picture high definition all senses go real life
point movie experience
i want to live in my own episodes of close encounters of the combat kind
i want the most realistic reality could conjure
and rectify my questions and ignorance

standing above the sediment
diving into predicaments
ridden of barriers, where i could die
where the chance of surviving is minimal
where bullets and sweat save lives
where an instant decision would alter my course
where hesitation is death
where indecision is like mouthing the chamber and pulling the trigger
where tears only blur your vision
and cries only announces your location

the stage is set
front row VIP seats i reserved
but i will bring no date
i'm hoping i get lucky

and i, i am so close to the greatest show on earth and i'm anxious as ever
because this day seems like forever
i've been waiting
and the daybreak projectiles shrieking animation
and i'm mildly complacent in my admiration for my foe
prostrated in my cot
because its so hot yet droll outside

and when those air raid sirens cry
telling the timid to run to bunkers to hide
i exclaim at the height of my yearning
it better be on target
because i don't want to limp away from this one

Photos:

U.S. Soldiers from 2nd Battalion, 377th Parachute Field Artillery Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team (Airborne), 25th Infantry Division, board CH-47 Chinook to depart from an air assault mission to search the Khost province of Afghanistan during Operation Champion Sword on Jul. 28, 2009. Operation Champion Sword is a joint operation involving Afghanistan National Security Forces and International Security Assistance Forces focused on specific militant targets and safe havens within Sabari and Terezai Districts of Khost province in eastern Afghanistan. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Matthew Freire / RELEASED)

U.S. Soldiers from 2nd Battalion, 377th Parachute Field Artillery Regiment,4th Brigade Combat Team (Airborne), 25th Infantry Division, run off a CH-47 Chinook during an air assault mission to search the Khost province of Afghanistan during Operation Champion Sword on Jul. 29, 2009. Operation Champion Sword is a joint operation involving Afghanistan National Security Forces and International Security Assistance Forces focused on specific militant targets and safe havens within Sabari and Terezai Districts of Khost province in eastern Afghanistan. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Matthew Freire / RELEASED )