that I'm needy like an infant

something in my back pocket
by matt freire

the problem with me is I think to much
typing away like it helps me swallow my lunch
and I clutter the page
with undecipherable babble
thinking this helps
but its just mindless ramble

I like to say I'm resilient
but my life has shown
that I'm needy like an infant
still sucking on the tit
with a mild contentment
too afraid to get away
but too far out to stay

so desperately
I pull some vocabulary out
but I lost my voice
and I can’t scream it out
and you’re so far away
and even if you heard it
you'd ignore it anyway
so I keep it to myself
in a mumble undecipherable
and I tap the return key
because there is more to the thought

the problem with my logic
is there are too many loopholes
too many what ifs
and too many pitfalls
and many pockets I sport
and many outfits I wear
but only two pockets count
but my hands are warming there

and when I think about me
I think about of pictures of me
because I forget about me
if these images didn't succeed
and a photo album is drawn
from the bookshelf in the corner
and on the first page
is when I first met me
but I didn't really like me
but as I got to know me
in different photos
that show me
the different quirks
that know me
and just between you and me
I still didn't really like me
and I guess that’s another problem with me
I don't really think at all
I just type away
watching my spit fall
seven seconds go by
till I hear the splat
so that’s roughly seven stories high
but thats just a rough estimate

I confuse myself
I save random objects
and keep them in my pockets
and I have no use for them
but I think what if

and I tap the return key
because I'm a stubborn
uneducated
inconclusive
determined
self analyst
that carries his wallet in his back pocket
so when I sit
I lean to the left