even though it might mean nothing

askar (pashto for soldier)
by Matt Freire

imagine an unstoppable force with massive death defying fire power and invincibility
that moves silently and unaware by all
a force that catches RPGs like footballs
and IED are like pop rocks in the mouth
imagine how you would feel walking with this force in a hostile war zone
they would be the war zone
imagine those sons of bitches war faces
the harden intimidating lines sun dirt and salt sliced and engraved fear
the narrowed eyes of reality and the horrors unimagined
where if your eyes locked theirs your eyes would never blink again
where just the slightest glance of them and it feels like paper cuts on the retina
the nostrils that don’t even curl
at the scent of death
because that’s all the mouth breathes
their spit is as acid and puts crater size
holes in the ground
imagine their presence as rain runs away from them
as life turns to dust with their touch
where battle is no more stress than digesting an apple for lunch

well i did eat an apple today as part of my lunch
left over naan that’s been sitting in a trash bag harvesting larva
and fresh chai out of dirty glasses
and i smile because
it’s honestly delicious

16 venture on foot
through human-filled streets of uncertainty
5 us soldiers and 10 afghan fighters
and a camera
making our presence known
to all sides
to those that would walk up and blow themselves up and see if you want to go with them
to those that would walk up and say "what it up maan" and give you a thumbs up
thousands of faces
all fitting the possible
millions of pieces of trash
all being explode-able

nerve-racking it should have felt but
overwhelmed with opportunity
i felt only enjoyment

eye witnessing history is moving
knowing it's happening
seeing it happen

i witness great change
people voting in a combat environment
people voted even though the taliban put out deadly threats
even though there lives could end
even though it might mean nothing
i never really cared about voting till that day
i saw a man that i have been fighting along side
an afghan man who is in the task force khowst
he doesn't wear a face mask like most of these guys
even though he is from this area
even though it puts his family in danger close
inspiring man
inspiring people
i've come to respect the people
i've come to respect the culture
i've come to love the food

the week of afghan elections i spent in a russian-built structure
located down town khowst city afghanistan
we called it malaria inn
in the heart of the city
a blood pumping
two minute walk from the Mosque
a blood pumping
two minute walk to the market
a blood pumping
longest two minute walk you could ever take
a blood stopping
possible shortest two minute walk
and we walk
almost daily
and we would stop and talk to locals
through the medium of an interpreter
sha-laam.
hello.
Del-tah-koom day terror-ee-stah-noh pa bah-rah-kee kha-bar la-ray?
Know anything about terrorist here?
Chair-ray?
Where?

we are looking for them

an afghan national police officer got short with our interpreter and laughed at him
our ’terp doesn't take shit from no one
slapped the ANP in the face and took his Ruchnoy Pulemyot Kalashnikova
and took his smile
and for those that don’t know the RPK is a gas operated rotating bolt light weight machine gun
capable of firing six hundred 7.62mm rounds a minute
i’m surprised he didn’t kill him
our ’terp has been around
was part of the force fighting against russia
he was an opium smuggler for three years going into pakistan
but that got too dangerous
and he became part of a resistance
the resistance force he was in of 40 persons
only 14 are still alive
fighting taliban
he now has been working with U.S. special forces for 9 years
the stories his eyes have seen
a man from looking you would have no idea
looking you would think not capable
wrong answer
he is more than capable

that unstoppable force exists
it’s real
as real as dreams are real

wuh-dar-ray-gah!
stop!
waass-lah wah-chah-wah!
drop your weapons!
lah-soo-nah porta-kah!
hands up!
choop-shay!
no talking
choop-shay!
no talking

(1) pashto is the main language in the area i'm in