Freedom Fighters
By Matt Freire
There is nothing I feel better about while in a war environment than being surrounded by obese, oxygen-stealing, chow-hall loitering soldiers.
Why are they here?
Why do I only see them in the d-fac?
What can they do besides suck plates full of processed dehydrated food?
How much money do we spend on these mouth breathing heifers?
It seems like a case of fraud waste and abuse.
I get so disgusted when I see them shovel fried chicken, yams, potato chips, pound cake, onion rings, dripping condiment smothered hamburgers, all washed down their gizzards by a cola all in one meal.
Today I saw one that I thought could never be.
You could take his top and use it as a table cloth for 8
Probably has never seen his legs or toes
Not even in photos
How in the world is it, when the army has implemented AR 600-9, that there are so many of these “special population” land whales?
It should be destruction of government property to be a fat body.
Now don’t get me wrong.
Civilians can eat all the fried ding dongs in the world,
Be so fat they engulf their couch
And need a hoist to get to the bathroom
And I wouldn’t care.
But I’m in a war environment!
People shoot at me and want me dead
And two ton teddy over there is scraping spaghetti
And stuffing dinner rolls and brownies in his pockets
It looks terrible on this, the greatest war super power in the world.
The greatest super-sized war machine this world has ever seen.
No wonder the Taliban hate us.
They are starving in there collats and caves and we have these gigantors that eat enough in a single meal to feed a war orphanage for a week.
We should sling-load these behemoths and drop them off in a collat system and let the locals masticate on some of that USDA prime beef.
And god forbid one gets shot and you have to litter carry one of these plentiful beasts to…well…anywhere would just suck!
I guess that’s why I never see them off the FOB.
Straight liability!
Straight pointless!
Straight waste!
Army strong with a chocolate cherry on top
Photo:
An Afghan family in Sabari Afghanistan Jul. 28, 2009. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Matthew Freire / RELEASED)
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Matt...I am old friend of your Dad's from college days.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a bit of courage to address this issue (gluttony and obesity) head on. In some ways you are too kind by only expressing your disgust towards undisciplined military personnel. When civilians share both private and public, incredibly expensive health care systems....why are these types allowed to go on day after day and not *ever* consider the ripple effect of their "personal" choices ?
Brent W. Bakersfield CA
Man you are harsh. Yeah, the commenter and the writer. So maybe some guys drink too much out there and other guys eat too much out there. You are lucky that you can write as a way to cope or express. Those over weight soldiers are doing non-infantry types jobs, so maybe you can lighten up, no pun intended.
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