I scrape more gunk out of my ear every night

Dropping a deuce in a porta-potty, in Afghanistan on a super freaking hot day
By Matt Freire

Not much more to say
That the title didn’t explain
But this is a historic event
And a horrific event
And I feel I must write about it

Nothing is worse than getting all kitted up
And it’s freaking hot
Hot like when you open the oven to check on the casserole
You step back and give that face hot
And you suddenly have the urge

First I tried to fit in the porta-potty with my gear on
Hold the breath
Temperature jumps up 13.7 degrees
Didn’t quite work out so well
Could barely turn around
Had a hard time getting the pants down
So I took a step back out side

Tricky this is
Drop the gear
Venture back in the fecal oven
Holding breath
Bleach burning the eyes
Weapon placed in the corner
Sweat pouring off my face
And I hover

Legs shaking
Light headed getting
Veins popping out my neck and forehead
Sweat pouring
And I grunt like a cave man
And I don’t know much about exorcisms
But I have a demon inside
And it’s killing me

Teeth wrenching
The demon is coming
Plop
An acorn size nugget lands on the mound of toilet paper

That’s it
I scrape more gunk out of my ear every night
What a waste
I feel like death
And the toilet paper keeps ripping apart due to how wet I am
You could pour a bucket of water on me and you wouldn’t know the difference

One freaking nug!